new year

OK
I'm trying to be honest.
When my ex-wife walked out on me 8 years ago--I was devastated, destroyed.
My whole life, for 20years was Suzanne and then the girls.
EVERYTHING I did revolved around them and their lives.
I wasnot perfect, but my total motives were for family.
I was a model husband and tried to be a good citizen. A good model for the girls. We always told them and encouraged them, that they could do anything they wanted to do.
When I got fired from BPW, my life changed.
I was in jepardy of not being a 'good' father, (which I did not have.)
Finally, I got it together. A job at Walgreens, still fighting through the union to get my job back.
I ran for Mayor of Holland.
Then Suzanne got sick. I want to go back over journals to remember just what and how that happened. It's a blur.

Anyway, in 2000/20001, she walked out.
If not for the girls, I probably would have died.
Needless to say, my legs were kicked out from under me.
I managed, but staggereded.

I'm just now getting my legs back.

k

NEW START

I'm amazed at the way I feel/think of late. The reason I believe is getting off all of the medication I was on.
It somehow deadened me. I'm alive again.
Crazy? Yes probably, but I'm much happier this way!!!!! At least I'm real.
smitty

lifeisexciting

I've noticed over the past couple of weeks that my whole attitude about everyting is changing.
Probably because I have stopped taking antidepressants.
Obama is president and I still have a few good years ahead of me.
I keep asking myself what do I want to do. Always, my 'parent' begins a litany of reasons why, I can't. Story of my life.
I'm sick of it!!!
What the hell have I got to lose?
My biggest concern and love at present are my two beautiful girls, future son in law and future grandchild. That's it.
I have a mother that I have absolutely no interest in, but feel guilty because I don't care. She's one of those poison people.
I also have some cousins and relation that I do care about.
But, what do I want to do?
I know that I have a lot of previously taken photo's that I could do sommething with--maybe even make some money.
I'm not looking to get rich.
I want to be a writer. Been told I have potential as a good story teller. But, it's been awhile since I have actually written something.
Still love acess tv and believe it has great potential.
Lot's of stuff to think about.
smitty

A New ERA (I HOPE)

It is 10:17pm here in Holland, Michigan and the pundit's are predicting OBAMA as our next president of the United States. I'm glad, I voted for him.
Just got back from my local Acess TV Show 'Open Line,' a live call in show.
My co-Host, a VERY republican citizen was insane. BOO-HOO, WAAWAA.
Unfortunately, being in an overwhelming republican stronghold I pretty much got beat up.
It's ok. I expect great things from Mr. Obama.
Keith

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Well here I am.
Alive and, well?
Who know's how long that will last.
Life sucks--sometimes.
I am trying so hard to pay bills and keep up. It takes all of my energy.
k

???????????

I don't know what the hell is going on.
Well, I sort of do.
The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.
Money is power.
or is it?

I don't want to be rich. I want to spend time and love my girls and their families, write draw, paint and sing.

Things are gonna change around here

Remember your mom or dad saying those words?
Well, I've got a feeling that those words are very real today.
I'M TRYING VERY HARD TO BE POSITIVE!!!!
I have ALWAYS been an optimist. If anything, I avoid uncomfortable reality.
So, when I've got this sick, sinking feeling in my GUT, what does that mean?
I'm scared.
I have know doubt that I can survive much worse times but, I wonder about people who are even poorer than me.

Then I shake my head and try to remember that life is Ying and Yang, good and positive, for every bad thing there is a good thing.

My idea is that we as a society, want to get out of the me/mine/yours attitude. Remember, from our history lessons that there was a time when families did not have 'insurance.' When something happened to a neighbor/family/friend, EVERYBODY helped.
Rember barn raising? A modern example is Habitat For Humanity.
Think about it... how can you flip a guy off for cutting in front of your car, when he was part of the neighborhood group who helped you build a ramp to you back door so your sick wife can get her wheel chair into the house a little easier than stairs. You smile and wave.
What comes around--goes around.
Karma.
Pass It Forward.
Corny? Maybe, but it works and it's true.

It truly is "It's the End of the World As We Know It." REM

Sorry, if I'm going on and on but, it's time for what Kim and I used to call Blabbin'.
Coffee Klutch, lunches, neighborhood block parties, etc.
We gotta know each other!!

I'm done for now
smitty